Once upon a time in a far away land known as Southern California, a prestigious cooking show called Ultimate Chef was in the final rounds of filming. There were three contestants left in the competition to become Food Network’s next Ultimate Chef.
The final three contestants had a brief interview with the main judge, the one and only Guy Fieri, before the next round. After a series of questions, Guy would ask each of the contestants how important cooking was to them, since any future Ultimate Chef would obviously have to show a strong passion for cooking. The first contestant told guy that cooking was more important to him than all of the fame and recognition in the world. The second chef said that cooking was more important to him than all of the prize money given to the winner of the show. The third chef to participate in the interview was a young and talented chef named Monica Mouseskin. Monica walked into the interview room and sat down at the table across from Guy. Chef Mouseskin answered all of Guy’s questions with ease, until he popped the final question. Monica calmly stated that cooking was more important to her than salt.
Now any good chef would understand that salt is an essential component to cooking, and that Monica’s answer was the most sincere and genuine of the three, however, Guy was infuriated that Monica would equate her passion for cooking with something so ordinary and dull. Immediately after Monica’s response, Guy ordered the camera and sound crew to remove Monica from the filming studio. Monica was dumped on the streets of Los Angeles with her chef’s hat, apron, and cooking supplies. She knew that the entire city would see her interview on television soon and in an effort to remain as unrecognizable as possible, she ditched all of her chef’s gear on the side of the street and started walking around the neighborhood in search of a job.
Walking through the streets of the nicest neighborhood in Los Angeles, Monica spotted Oprah Winfrey walking her dog. Monica tried her best to contain her excitement and gave Oprah a friendly smiled as she walked past. Oprah stopped Monica before she could pass by and said, “Oh my goodness I just lost my best cleaning lady to Leonardo DiCaprio! Do you have any cleaning experience? Could you help me out for a little while?” Not wanting to pass up the opportunity to work for a star like Oprah, Monica enthusiastically responded with, “Of course! I can start right away.”
Monica worked for Oprah for several weeks, cleaning her enormous mansion and helping her out with random chores around the house. Oprah was always friendly to Monica and paid her well, but Monica was unhappy because she wasn’t working where her passion was, as a chef. One fateful day, Oprah’s personal chef had a family emergency and could not come in to work. Too busy to worry about a chef, Oprah went about her day, trying to get done all of the work she needed to. Monica scrambled to the kitchen and began whipping up the most decadent, delicious breakfast in the history of fine cuisine. Oprah was drawn to the kitchen by the wonderful aroma of the breakfast Monica had cooked. After one bite of Monica’s eggs benedict, Oprah exclaimed, “Monica Mouseskin, this is the best food I have ever tasted, I declare you my new personal chef!”
Four days after Monica became Oprah’s chef, Oprah had a dinner party with some of her good friends, including Guy Fieri. Monica cooked an excellent five course meal, but made sure not to salt any of the food for Guy. The servers brought the food out for everyone as Monica watched from a window in the kitchen. Guy tasted his food and his face quickly shriveled with disgust. He started yelling, “This food is so bland, I refuse to eat food without salt!” Monica emerged from the kitchen and said, “When I told you cooking was more important to me than salt, you thought I was crazy, but now you can’t eat without salt.” Realizing the huge mistake he had made, Guy apologized profusely to Chef Mouseskin and even offered her the title of Ultimate Chef. Monica politely declined his offer and happily remained working as Oprah’s personal chef for the rest of her days.
